I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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