no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
