thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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