What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
