haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
