SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
