MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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