Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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