try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
