The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
