If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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