PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
