I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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