Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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