So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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