Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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