It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
