using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize