i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
