dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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