Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
