I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize