Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Im part way to drunk.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
