I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
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i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
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Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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