operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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