I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize