I've blown a few things in my day
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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