At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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