im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
