The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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