$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
