so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
