there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
