I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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