Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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