oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Randomize
