i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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