I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
