the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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