I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
