Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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