Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Boobs are out for the taking
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
