she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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