Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
