Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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