You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
