I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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