You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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