Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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