i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
