UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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