I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
