this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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