I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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