Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
there is puke in my bra ... again
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
