Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
