i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
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He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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