fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i came on her dog
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
