I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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