Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
