Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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