I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
