Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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