Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
