i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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