so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
