im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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