Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
