so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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