so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
