And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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