carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
