thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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