I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
