take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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